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Whisk(e)y, let's talk about it.

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Friday The 13th 2009 Naked

While it's unfairly maligned by many, Friday the 13th's 2009 remake is actually one of the better later entries in the Jason Voorhees franchise. Despite its status as one of horror's most popular ongoing series, Friday the 13th has never really been where anyone looked for a truly great movie. A Friday the 13th installment is unlikely to ever compete with things like The Shining, The Exorcist, and The Silence of the Lambs for the title of horror's best and most frightening entry.

Friday The 13th 2009 Naked

That said, Friday the 13th fans aren't looking for an award-winning triumph. In general, Jason devotees are looking for some cool, gory kills, a few attractive people getting naked, and a cast of characters likeable enough to watch have fun for awhile before Mr. Voorhees starts picking them off. Friday the 13th films may not be high art, but nobody wants them to be. The franchise is designed to provide a fun 90 minutes or so for slasher lovers, and at that job, almost all of them succeed.

Following 2003 crossover Freddy vs. Jason, Friday the 13th quietly retired for a bit, before reemerging in the form of a remake by Platinum Dunes in 2009. While the topic of remakes has always been a contentious one among horror diehards, just being a remake does not make a film bad, and that's the case with Friday the 13th 2009, which is often the target of ridicule from fans.

First off, it's important to note that Friday the 13th 2009 certainly has flaws. It's out of character for Jason to take a prisoner instead of just killing them right away, and the idea of Jason growing marijuana to lure in victims is outright silly. The thing is, neither of those plot points are any more insulting to the intelligence than the hulking Jason getting killed by a small child, or being resurrected as a zombie by a lightning bolt. Being a Friday the 13th fan requires a certain amount of suspension of disbelief.

With that established, Friday the 13th 2009 has pretty much everything a Jason fan could want. Jason kills lots of people, many in extraordinarily harsh fashion. This is heightened even further in the film's unrated cut. There's also a choice selection of nudity, albeit definitely slanted toward those who are attracted to women. Friday the 13th is the horror franchise with the most nudity for a reason, and as superficial as it may sound to some, nobody sits down to watch Jason hack people up without expecting to see some naked flesh along with it.

Finally, Derek Mears is an absolutely badass Jason, and while not quite as good as fan favorite actor Kane Hodder, he was a great choice for the role, and is himself a horror fan who was thrilled to land the job and took it seriously. So, why is Friday the 13th 2009 so disliked? The most logical explanation seems to be that it's a remake, and that's really not a fair criticism on its own. There's no real argument to be made as to why Friday the 13th 2009 isn't better than Jason Takes Manhattan or Jason Goes to Hell, and if those films can get a pass, the remake should too.

This is one of my favorite Friday the 13th movies because it is the first Friday the 13th where Jason Voorhees runs! He goes slow then "bang" he is running full fucking speed with a machete and looking to take a head or two. Also, this director knew well enough to add some hot naked babes, such as America Olivo, Julianna Guill, and Willa Ford. America Olivo shows us her boobs then pours baby oil on her tits - God, that is awesome. Julianna Guill is full frontal naked and although her breasts are huge and perfect, I could not keep my eyes off her juicy ass. The Blu-ray stills of Julianna Guill are indescribable. You have to see them for yourself. And, then we have Willa Ford who is skiing in the buff. I was able to pull every clear nude frame of her hard, wet, nipples as she cruises across the lake.


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